My live reaction thoughts to the big game, commercials, half-time show, and more. But where I use Roman Numerals because I’m smarter than you.
I. My grandparents live in Phoenix. My grandfather texted me this two days ago: The people are flocking in and the roads are a mess. We are staying home.
II. Jackson Mahomes sighting!
III. I’m going Chiefs. I hate picking scores, but I’ve been quoted at 31-17, so we’ll go with that.
IV. We’ve ordered three pizzas: BBQ for Kansas City, cheesesteak for Philly, and cheese for people who don’t like tasty things.
V. This.
VI. The USFL commercials! Do we like this? Are we gonna let this be a thing?
VII. Do we like the Fox Sports robot?
VIII. Do we like Bennifer? Their Dunkin’ commercial was fun.
IX. Bradley Cooper sighting! Do we like this? Are we gonna let this be a thing?
X. Being reminded of this by a friend.
XI. Alicia Silverstone still has it!
XII. I hate Ben Stiller so much.
XIII. The Mahomes-Kelce tandem is an all-timer and we are lucky to witness it.
XIV. The Harrison Butker missed field goal off the post made the most perfect DOINK! noise.
XV. Now I have the watch this stupid Flash movie thanks to Michael Keaton’s Batman return.
XVI. A.J. Brown pulling in a 45 yard TD catch, showing off what he does best. You can’t ask for more from a Super Bowl.
XVII. Nick Sirianni is animated!
XVIII. Philly’s No. 69 is named Dickerson. Aheer.
XIX. Nick Bolton’s fumble TD to get Kansas City back in it!
XX. Was I wrong to rule out Jalen Hurts?
XXI. Maya Rudolph replacing Tucker Carlson’s sexy M&Ms is so funny to me.
XXII. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but Kevin Burkhardt and Greg Olsen? I mean they’re fine, but is this the best they could do?
XXIII. Hurt Patrick Mahomes is better Patrick Mahomes.
XXIV. The Blue Moon commerical asks the age-old question, Which is better: Miller Lite or Coors Lite? The answer: Miller. Coors is disgusting. The real answer: Bud Light.
XXV. Just a touch of refball with some of these “catches.”
XXVI. 24-14 at the half.
XXVII. Read my 80 For Brady review.
XXVIII. Rihanna was cool, I guess. I didn’t realize how much of her music I already liked, and the floating platorms were cool. But…that’s it? No guests? Nothing else? It was like the coolest Rihanna concert ever, but just an average half-time performance.
XXIX. Third quarter starts and Mahomes is nursing his injury, so it’s run run run the ball until he feels better.
XXX. 24-21
XXXI. I missed the fumble touchdown that gave the Chiefs the lead because The Girl Who Loved Kiké Hernandez, who tonight is The Girl Who Loved Dallas Goedert, wanted a water bottle.
XXXII. Never mind, called back anyway!
XXXIII. 27-21
XXXIV. Why is the field so mucked up? The kicker slipping was slapstick comedy at its finest.
XXXIV. The Chiefs take the lead, 28-27
XXXV. Philly’s first three-and-out leads to an amazing run from Kadarius Toney on the punt return.
XXXVI. The Girl Who Loved Dallas Goedert is freaking out. She just said, “My heart is in my chest!” I’m so glad, because that’s where it’s supposed to be.
XXXVII. Jalen Hurts sets a Super Bowl record with three rushing touchdowns, but do they count if he’s just getting pushed over by seven guys? He’s not doing anything. I could do that!
XXXVIII. Bradley Cooper again. He would be from Philly.
XXXIX. John Travolta singing again!
XL. Jerick McKinnon stopping at the one-yard line and guareenting a win instead of logging a Super Bowl touchdown on his resume is how you play a team sport. It’s one for all – and he showed us how it’s done.
XLI. Great clock management by Hall of Fame coach Andy Reid.
XLII. Kansas City wins!
XLIII. I was gonna stop there, but I was just about to turn the tv off when I heard them compare Mahomes’ performance to the Curt Schilling bloody sock game! Get out of here with that!
XLIV. It’s baseball season!