New York Yankees Fan

We love to play the Cuddle, Marry, Trash game here at BleacherBrawls. It’s a fun way to power rank three options. It adds a little more excitement and levity to simply ranking one through three.

After this week’s Toronto series, it seems like a great opportunity to Cuddle, Marry, Trash three of the Yankees biggest rivals at the moment (the last place Boston Red Sox are not included in this game today).

I ask the question to all Yankees fans out there and I am truly curious as to your answers because I feel like there will be a wide range of answers.

Cuddle, Marry, Trash Yankees rivals, the Toronto Blue Jays, the Tampa Bay Rays, or the Houston Astros/Asterisks.



Trash is the easiest of answers for me. I’ll trash the baseball team from Houston. The Yankees were robbed of three World Series victories between 2017 – 2019 because of the sign stealing scandal devised by Alex Cora and the Houston cheaters. I’ll never forgive Houston for tarnishing three years of MLB with the worst cheating scandal of all time. Houston is a team of cheaters. I despise Little Joe Altuve, the smelly Alex Bregman, the no longer an Astro but still a cheater Carlos Correa. Trash these guys, they are still the biggest rivals.


This is where is starts to get really, really hard. I don’t like either the Tampa Bay Rays or the Toronto Blue Jays. Both teams are filled with unlikable qualities.

Tampa is awful because despite being a perennial contender, they consistently act like they are the underdogs. This is a team that manages to compete year in and year out all while acting like they have no business competing at all despite having an absolute stacked roster. 

Despite all the unlikeable qualities of Tampa, Toronto is managing to position themselves as even more unlikable. 

Toronto is a team full of entitled nepo-babies. A team filled with second generation talent that wants to believe they clawed their way into the majors like their fathers did. Nice try Jays but that ain’t realistic. Does anyone really think Vlad Guerrero Jr had anything but the most elite coaches and trainers? Vlad Jr wasn’t playing baseball in the streets of the Dominican Republic with a stick bat and a milk container for a glove. He’s a spoiled athlete’s kid who has been and will continue to be given every opportunity because of his name. He’s a good player now but he’ll be given chance after chance once that talent wears out just because of his name. Same with Biggio and Bichette, just a bunch of punks.

To make themselves even more unlikeable, the Blue Jays announcing team went out of their way to embarrass themselves this week by trying to accuse Aaron Judge and the Yankees of stealing signs despite using the electronic pitch signal. Did they Jays announcers think the Yankees managed to tap into the pitch comm?? Freaking idiots. They should both be fired. Dan Shulman and Buck Martinez made themselves look like fools this week. 

Toronto Blue Jays manager, John Schneider, did himself no favors this week either. Despite roughly being 400lbs himself, Schneider felt he was in a position to call someone on the Yankees “fat boy”. 

Anyone watching the game on Tuesday would have thought Schneider must be talking to his own player, Alejandro Kirk who is a complete fatass. But no, Schneider wasn’t talking to the largest player on the field, who happened to play for his team.

Toronto is a team that has accomplished nothing and won nothing. Despite this, the Blue Jays feel entitled enough to act like big tough guys. That’s a lot of big talk from big fat guys like Schneider. I’ll be sure to congratulate them on their 4th place finish this year. 

A bunch of losers.


Somehow the Tampa Bay Rays get the marry as the least most dislikable team?! I don’t know how that happened but it happened. Truly, as much as I dislike the Rays, the players aren’t that hateable. As much as I want to hate Randy Arozarena but he’s respectable. I hate Tropicana Field and I hate their manager Kevin Cash but I can say I respect the players which is something I cannot say about either the Blue Jays or those cheaters in Houston.

By JMo

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