Here at Bleacher Brawls, we are the home of the greatest rivalry in professional sports. You obviously know it, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably on the right side of the rivalry. THE WINNING SIDE.

But I also appreciate you Red Sox fans for coming in and reading my material, as well as those other schlubs like Luke, Pat and Derrik. John and I take huge pride in being Yankees fans, and in the Bleacher Brawls group chat we always seem to be at war with the losers.

Where is the pendulum now? Are any arguments still relevant?

Yankees fans, gear up for 2023 as we wipe the bottoms of our boots clean with those Boston Red Sox.

So here’s a quick recap of what happened in 2022. The New York Yankees won 13 of 19 games against the Red Sox, by a total of 33 runs over the course of those games. Most of the games were within two runs, and the Yankees thumped the Red Sox three times, but even if we take away those spankings, the Yankees are still +8.

I have no idea why Red Sox fans trash talk the Yankees. You were completely irrelevant in the division in 2022, and we won 68% of their head-to-head matchups. Wins matter. Wins are the only things that matter. That’s the root of our trash talking. So Red Sox fans, shut up. You’ve got no ground to stand on.

Now the next argument the common Red Sox fan will bring up about 2022 is that “Devers is Cole’s daddy,” to which I absolutely just laugh at. In 2022, Devers went 3-11 with 3 home runs against Cole. On July 7th, Devers hit 2 home runs in one game against Cole. Oh, but wait, what was the result of that game? The Yankees won 6-5. As you just read a paragraph ago, Wins matter. Wins are the only things that matter. So while you may have Gerrit Cole’s dad on your team, the Yankees are still rocking your little baby team to sleep.

If you want to brag about home runs off of an ace, I’ll start with the fact that your “ace” has pitched 48.1 innings over the last 2 years. Then there was this guy that Luke was bragging about for the majority of 2022, the ace: Nick Pivetta. *laughs uncontrollably* Yea the Yankees pummeled that guy for two home runs EVERY TIME they faced him in 2022.

One of my other favorite things that Red Sox say is,  “yea well, when we get Sale back, we’ll be ripping you guys apart.”

Ummmm hello? Are you ok? Chris Sale, while playing for the Red Sox, has only been awarded two wins against the Yankees. The Red Sox won another game that he started, but Sale wasn’t the winning pitcher. Other than those three wins (because they are what matter), Chris Sale and the Red Sox have seen nine losses against the Yankees. Is Chris Sale going to magically come back and be better than he has been? I’m not too sure. He’ll be going into his age 34 season, and for a guy who thrived off of high velocity and basically hasn’t pitched in a year, will he be able to get back to where he was? Some ace, right?

Then there are the Red Sox fans who are optimistic for 2023 and spin the whole “what if” stories. “What if Yoshida can be an on-base and doubles machine?” “What if Adam Duvall can do what he did in 2021 again?” “What if Triston Casas can turn into a great player?”

There are too many “what if” situations for the Red Sox. They are all planning on having every move go the way they want it to go. More often than not, your move is going to miss. John loves to say in the Bleacher Brawls group chat that he has to be the voice of reason for Red Sox fans, and he hates the Sox! Luke loves Chaim Bloom so much that I’m pretty sure he would be willing to give up bread and butter for the rest of his life to make sure Bloom can execute his “secret plan” (ask Joey about it some time on twitter @jdsbostonian ) over the next eight years. You’re allowed to say the moves aren’t the right moves or that they weren’t the smartest. Or that what you thought was a good move is actually a bad one (like the Mookie Betts trade).

So there it is, Yankees fans. This was my “bash the Red Sox” column. Red Sox fans will ALWAYS try to get at you, so just remember these things in 2023 to keep those mouth breathers where they belong: last place in the AL East!

The Yankees won 68% of the rivalry games in 2022, so there’s no reason the Yankees shouldn’t win the season series again. You can have those Devers home runs if you want to hang your hat on a “cool” stat. I’ll be hanging mine on a W.

Lastly, instead of playing the “what if” game, I’ll be over here sipping my iced tea and eating my burger. I’ll be looking at a team where we know the best possible lineup, we know who our starting pitchers are, and we know the defined roles in the bullpen. On the other hand, you’ll be sitting there scratching your head and wondering if Casas is going to be the next big RBI leader on the team or if he’ll wind up like Bobby Dalbec.

Yankees fans, I salute you. Red Sox fans, here’s some toilet paper for the amount of crap you’ll be eating up in this rivalry in 2023.

– Your Boy, Barnes

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